McAllen and San Antonio are both good places. San Antonio is a fun city to live in. I lived there for several years. All cities have saftey issues. Texas is no worse than any place else.
If you have never been to the valley then you probably won t like it. It is a world of it s own. I would say San Antonio would be the best choice.
It s the desert. But, on the plus side there is six flags fiesta texas in San Antonio. and they have, hands- down, the BEST texmex food. But it s been a few years since I ve been there.
If I had a choice, I would go with living in a town near San Antonio.