You are wise to be cognizant of the cultural differences. Honolulu is such a melting pot now ethnicity really doesn t matter anymore. There are so many mixed ethnicities there that its impossible to tell by looking that you re not from the islands. Now, behavior wise yes it is very easy for a local to get irritated with mainlanders. Here s a few things you can do:1. Always remove your shoes when going into someone s house (and make sure you don t have sweaty/toe jam feet) 2. Don t be in a rush. Mainlanders drive crazy on the freeway/cut people off. Relax, if someone let s you into a lane then waive your hand or show a shaka/hang loose sign as a gesture of thanks. 3. Be polite, if there are elders around - let them go first and always say thank you or excuse me if you are in someone s way.4. Don t stare and accept differences.5. Learn to understand pidgin. People may sound illiterate but they re not so don t treat people like their dumb.6. When invited to someone s house NEVER go empty handed. (Take a dessert, gift or appetizer) and when you leave DON T take home the same dish you brought! Leave it there for the host. 7. When you are invited to go out with a group of locals always offer to pay your own or pick up the tab if it s just a few of you. Many times everyone will offer to pay but if everyone is reaching for their wallet to pick up the tab for everyone and you don t - you will be the talk of the office/neighborhood.8. How old are your kids? If they are young, teach them that it is okay for people to be different. Encourage your kids to talk to you about what they see in their new friends and how it is different than what they are used to. (Locals eat spam, eggs and rice for breakfast... mainlanders think this is GROSS or poor food. You ll have to break down stereotypes like these for your kids.) You would be wise to have your kids explore the local foods early on. Kids bond easily over food... 9. Get some local artists music to familiarize your family with Island entertainers. Kids also bond easily over music.If you are nice, respectful people then you will adapt just fine.
One of the first things you and your children need to learn is that everybody knows the rules for getting along with other people--except for you. How much you enjoy eating your food means much more than you would think, for example.Local people have a wide spectrum of nicknames and ethnic jokes they use to tease each other. For example, there is a nickname for Americans of Japanese Ancestry who come from North America that most people who come from North America would consider to be offensive. You are a newcomer, so you can t use those for the first 10 to 12 years you live in Hawaii. Your children might be able to use them sooner. But it is not necessarily offensive for local people to tease each other (or you) in this way. If the word haole is preceded by a participle beginning with f , it is, however, meant to be offensive. It helps to remember that social status in Hawaii is not based on socioeconomic status. In some ways, Native Hawaiians are at the center of society. Locals--whose ancestors or ethnic group worked on the sugar and pineapple plantations back in the day--are the next rung out, followed by an amorphous group of Local Haoles (white, non-Portuguese people who grew up in Hawaii), FOBs (recent immigrants Fresh Off the Boat ), and people who vaguely look like Locals (Mexicans, Nepalis, and Alaska Natives, for example). Out on the edges are North Americans who just got here. These include tourists and the people who move to Hawaii, hate it, complain the whole time they re here, and leave again within a few months or so. Local folks will be waiting to see how long you stick around, but many of them will be warm and friendly to you in the meantime.
The first thing you absolutely MUST do is get rid of your preconceived notions about islanders hating mainlanders. That will get you into more trouble than anything. Yes, there are folks out there who feel that way, but they are in the minority by a huge amount. Wherever you live, there will always be some folks out there who are prejudiced. LA Boston Girl gave you a lot of good specific suggestions, but if you treat others the way you would ike to be treated, 9 times out of 10 you will be just fine.
Honolulu is a place where there is likely to be more.. haoles /mainlanders than local peple. Honolulu is more of a touristy area where many locals don t like to be, because as you said..they don t like mainlanders. Not all schools in Hawaii are bad. Just look into the schools around that area and do a little research to find the best one. I can t tell you which ones are good and which arent, but I don t think your kids will have a problem. The local kids usually hang out together, and.. well, everyone else has their own group. As long as your kids mind their own business and don t go saying Moke around the locals, I don t think you need to worry.
We don t hate the mainlanders. It s just a steriotype of thing.