Sunday, July 22, 2012

Is New York, New York a lonely place to live in? -

I ve always dreamed of living there. Recently I went on a trip to New York. Yes, it s bustling with people, street vendors, and countless stores, but it has such an.. unfamiliar feel. Does that make sense? It s like..you re in a crowd of people but no one knows you or cares about you.So, is it true?

You wrote - you re in a crowd of people but no one knows you or cares about you. To be perfectly honest - this is one of the things I truly love about NYC! I call it being alone in a crowd. It means I can be myself, be private, not worry what everyone thinks of me every time I go out. People have private conversations in public here. You don t have to fear that you will run into someone you know everywhere you go. And when you DO run into someone you know, it s a pleasure rather than a pain!Of course people have friends here. But we don t have to be friends with everyone. The other people are just sort of background noise. Of course if there is a reason to pay attention to someone - if someone is lost and needs help for example - New Yorkers are usually great at helping out in situations like that. But we can t be friends with everyone we meet! We just see too many different people each day! It would be nuts!This is a great place to live, and some people actually love this lifestyle. I moved to a small town for a short time when my husband had a job there. I just hated it! Everyone I met knew me and knew my business. It was just awful! I prefer it here. Of course this kind of life isn t for everyone and maybe it isn t for you. Only you can tell. But lots of people love it here.

people are more likely to feel lonely when they are surrounded by big crowds. and even though the city can be lonely sometimes because everyone is so fast paced and in a rush to get everything done, once you ve familiarize yourself with the city and meet other people you ll feel less lonely and learn to love the city like we do.if you do decide to move here, you ll meet your neighbors, people you work with, or you can join clubs or other activities that can help you build connections and friendships. it can be intimidating and lonely when you first come to the city but once you re here and you get use to everything, you wouldn t want to leave.i ve lived in nyc all my life and i went to buffalo four four years for college. i cannot tell you how much more satisfying and entertaining the city is compare to other suburban areas.

Of course it feels unfamiliar, you don t live here. Most outsiders only see the hustle and bustle that makes up a part of New York because that s really all you can have access to if you re only here a short time. The warmth of any place comes from it s people and it sounds like you didn t connect with any while you were here.True, many New Yorkers are hard to get to know...it takes time before you can crack the outer shell of some of them, but once you do, they can be just as friendly as people anywhere else. But you can be as alone as you want or have as many acquaintances as you want here. True friends are harder to find and take much longer to cultivate as they are anywhere.There are some neighbourhoods in NYC where everyone knows their neighbours, the mailman s name, address the person they get their coffee from each morning by their first name. Groups of friends get together in each other s homes or go out together, families thrive here, the odd situations that can happen here can result in finding a friend in an unexpected place.Don t write us off just because you didn t look closely enough.

You re from out of town, of course you feel aloneWe who live here develop bonds with those around us we see often enough, more so when you re in a routine. Also, life is pretty fast paced. no, you re just going too slow :). I m just kidding, we have to move fast, time is money, and we have places to be.

only true because you arent from here and didnt know anyone, so you are right. No one knew you and no one cared about you. your just one in a crowd. just like anywhere, if you lived here you would make friends and have a social life. unless you suck, then no one will like you.

Someone a while back coined the phrase the lonely crowd. That is exactly what you are talking about. Many places that you go people don t even know their neighbors. It is not hopeless, you just need to try a little bit.

Well, oddly enough, as crowded as it is, yes, you actually can be lonely, very lonely, in New York City!NYers are very friendly and close with their own circle of friends, usually people they meet through work or through their boyfriends or girlfriends, but if you re not part of a circle of friends, it can be VERY hard to make friends here because, as you state, No one really stops to smell the flowers for very long if at all... and NYers really tend to mind their own business to the point where if you don t know them, you don t really even exist for them!I mean, for example, I live in an apartment building with five apartments on my floor and I have only a nodding relationship with one or two of the residents of those apartments, and have never even SEEN the residents of the other apartments. Unlike in the rest of the USA where it s assumed that you know your neighbors and probably chat with them all the time, here in New York City we don t even know who lives six inches away in the apartment right next door to us sometimes!So, it all depends, oddly enough, on where you work when you live here, because most folks are friends with people they work with, and the people that those people know, too, so, if you do move here and look for a job, be VERY aware that that will not only be your source of income, it will also be very much your source of a social life, too, so pick your place of employment VERY carefully, because it could spell the difference between success or failure here in New York City on a personal as well as a professional level, too!Good luck!